DO YOU SEE ME?
Sometimes I’m too little to
explain what’s going on with me. The pain I feel, the confusion, the betrayal. At
times I tried to tell you, but you misunderstood me. Maybe you didn’t believe
me or is it you didn’t want to believe that? I don’t like it when you leave me
alone with them and no, I don’t want them to babysit me or make me go for a
trip to the store with them. I trusted them and looked up to them, or did you
bring them into our family thinking YOU trusted them? It’s not fair I can’t
hurt them the way they hurt me, so I hide. No one can protect me from this
monster, so I hide. Even when I pretend to be invisible they find me. I tell them I don’t
like it, but they ignore me. I wish someone would help me, SEE ME! I’m not the
same happy child I used to be, don’t you see? I cry when I’m by myself because I
don’t know what to do. I pray, Lord, please make the monster stop.
I’m a little older now, and they
still find me. Not as much anymore, but they still hurt me. I wish you could
see what I see. Please look closer, they pretend well. They said if I told
anyone, especially you, that I would get in trouble. They even said they would
hurt you. So I kept silent. I don’t feel good about what’s going on. What did I
do to deserve this? Is anyone else going through this? Are my friends? I don’t
want to tell them because they might not like me, so again, I keep silent. My grades
are slipping, and I don’t care about how I look. The worse I look and the more
clothes I put on, maybe they’ll leave me alone. I’m running away the first
chance I get because I don’t feel safe here. I’m getting high or drunk the
first time it’s offered, to help me
to forget. You couldn’t protect me, or you didn’t care. Don’t you see?
I have someone to protect me.
They didn’t understand why it took so long for me to trust them. I was broken
into pieces when they found me. Years have gone by and one by one we put the
pieces back together. I learned how to love myself, and know my worth. I am
somebody, and I will not let the actions of a monster dictate how my life turns
out. It was not my fault and it wasn’t anything I did to provoke what happened.
And now I’m a parent and I SEE YOU. -L.G.London