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| photo by pintrest |
THE UNVEILING
Taking off the Mask
Because
the encounters of life may at times have been so hard and difficult and the
road to our destiny has had many twists and turns. The road also had dead ends
and roadblocks, warning signs, and detours, inclines and declines. At times it
has been slippery and even hard to see causing us to pull over to a stop on the
side of the road. We don’t want others to know that we are going through feels
as if it’s going to kill us so we put on a MASK.
Some
of the definitions of a “mask” according to the Webster-Merriam dictionary are:
*to keep
(something) from being known or noticed.
*to hide
(something) from sight.
*facades
and defenses people erect to protect themselves.
*something
that conceals from view.
*emotionally
sensitive people wear masks.
I decided
to do some research on masks and why people wore them. I had an ideal but I wanted
to know if anyone else felt the way I did. The information I came up with was
that there were different types of masks that people put on. Emotionally
sensitive people can tend to believe that others have judged them, and may even
feel rejected. They believe they get left out, and feel powerless to stop the
injustice. They wear an Avoidance Mask
to protect them from pain and to protect their true selves. Then there’s the Functional Mask. This one mostly
everyone is wearing. It’s the one you wear to work to make everyone think everything
is okay and your drug addicted husband or wife hasn’t been home in three days
and you don’t know if they’re dead or alive. At times of necessity you wear the
functional mask so people won't see that you are sad and your world is falling apart.
With this mask, you feel your feelings but you are hiding them
temporarily. Wearing this type of mask
is helpful, but to the emotionally sensitive people they prefer to wear a more
permanent one to protect themselves emotionally.
People Pleaser Mask. These are the people who want to make
everyone happy so they won’t be attacked emotionally. They want to be accepted
so they won’t disagree on thoughts, preferences or feelings. Even if what they
believe is contrary to the others, they will push it down or blow it off just
to be seen in agreement. Someone can say, your friend is a louse and no good, you
will just nod or don’t say anything out of fear even though you don’t agree. Fear
of not being accepted. Then after the fact you get angry with yourself because
you were afraid and didn’t stand up to them. You can do this so much until you
lose yourself and won’t have your own thoughts or beliefs anymore.
Mask of Anger. Anger can keep people away and
protect you from feeling weak. Anger feels more powerful than hurt, fear or
sadness and can be used to avoid those painful feelings. Not too many people know that an angry person
is really a sheep with porcupine quills.
Emotionally sensitive people who wear the mask of anger are often lonely
and feel worthless on the inside.
Happy Mask.
Is another way to protect yourself is to pretend as if you’re happy all
the time. No one ever knows when your feelings are hurt and to the ones on the
outside, nothing gets you down. Happiness covers your real feelings. You joke
and smile even when someone asks to borrow money from you and you give it to
them knowing it will shorten the light bill that is overdue.
Emotions
and behaviors can be worn as masks. You can mask insecurities by disliking
someone, or mask sadness by being the life of the party. Or mask fear by being
a perfectionist. Wearing a mask is a way of disappearing or becoming invisible.
Putting on
masks can cost. When you wear a mask, you don’t really feel the warmth of
belonging because people won’t know who you really are. The basic need for
people is to be able to connect with another person and that can’t happen when
you are hidden. And the danger of wearing a mask for long periods of time is
YOU won’t really know yourself or what you are feeling. Not knowing yourself
creates a lot of anxiety because you can’t make decisions and who you are is
defined by others or how the day went. Avoiding feelings means you lose part of
who you are and increases the likelihood that you will be depressed or anxious.
It’s exhausting to wear a mask.
Resource
Karyn Hall Ph.D
I know
that there is some truth to this. Almost twenty years ago I was sitting in my
bed with a .45 pistol in my lap. I had just finished off some tequila and
smoked weed trying to build up enough courage to pull the trigger. When I thought
I was wasted enough I put the gun to my temple and when I went to pull the
trigger a picture of my children flashed across my mind. I saw them running
into the room after hearing the sound of the gun go off and finding my bloody
body. I saw them panicking and crying and I knew they would be alone with no
one to care for them like I would. I slowly put the gun away in my nightstand
and cried myself to sleep. The next day I went to work and laughed and talked
to my co-workers. The mask I put on never gave them a clue that the day before
would have been my last. Over the years I got better and better at putting on a
mask, they never knew my true thoughts or the nightmare I lived from day to
day. or even the horrors of my past.
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| photo by ritberger |
Unveil
*to
remove a cover from (something) so that people can see it.
*to
throw off a veil or protective cloak
*something
that covers or hides something. (veil)
When I asked
God to change me one of the things he started to do was strip me bare. In other
words, removed the masks I was putting on, he unveiled me. When I go to him
there are no pretenses, he knows who I am and I don’t try to cover it or hide
it. He slowly had me be true to myself and to others. I allow myself to feel
the pain when I hurt and not numb it with liquor or drugs. Prayer is the source
of my strength, the lifeline to my existence. I owe everything to the Lord
Jesus Christ.
It’s
time to take off your mask and take a chance on someone getting to know the
real you. You are worth someone loving and knowing the precious person that makes
you unique and different from anyone else on this planet, after all, there is
only ONE YOU. I would love to hear your thoughts on this, please leave your
message below. –L.G.
